Teaching Home Letters from Our Readers, Jan./Feb. 2002

Constructing a House Builds Characterand Skills

      During the past year, our three eldest children learned to construct a house as they helped to build ours. From the beginning stages of the computer design to the final stages of drywall and tile, our sons learned an array of skills that will last them a lifetime.
     The Bible tells us that “unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it” (Psalm 127:1). From the beginning of this project, I did not want our family to labor in vain. I prayed for the Lord’s hand and guidance, blessing and protection, as well as provision.
     Due to the high cost of materials and the very high cost of labor, we would do most of the labor ourselves. This was to be a family project.
     Just days after our baby girl was born, I could hear the roar and squeak of the backhoe reverberate through our little mobile home. At that stage our sons learned many details about the county requirements for the depth of septic tanks and length of leach lines.
     After the foundation and block wall were in place, father and sons became carpenters, framing the house and constructing the staircase. During the scorching days of summer, they not only learned the skill of roofing, but also empathized with those whose livelihood is roofing, especially during harsh weather.
     After a period of time, each child developed a speciality. Matthew specialized in wiring while Joshua became an expert at cutting drywall. The youngest helper, Samuel, was invaluable to his Dad as an errand boy and tool supplier.
     Building a house was not only a thorough industrial arts class, it also strengthened other subjects. For example, precise measuring and various calculations enhanced math skills. Giving, receiving, and carrying out instructions sharpened language arts skills.
     Our sons gained knowledge and skills in character building as well as house building. The daily discipline of cleaning and organizing while Dad was at work (even when they didn’t always feel like it) shaped attitudes and built maturity.
     I’ll never forget the time I went over to the house when one of our sons was there doing chores by himself. As I approached, I heard him whistling an old familiar hymn.
     I stopped to enjoy the moment. It was great to be raising sons who were learning to be helpful and learning to build a house. It was even better to have a home-school lifestyle that strengthened their relationship with God—lifestyle where I could hear them worshiping and honoring the Lord.
     “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Thy name give glory because of Thy lovingkindness, because of Thy truth” (Psalm 115:1).

Cynthia E., Arizona

Encouragement Overrides Criticism

      I want you to know what a wonderful magazine you have. I was not aware that a magazine like this even existed.
     Last year I home schooled for a while, but family kept at me until I enrolled our 5-year-old son in kindergarten. He is an only child and they felt he needed to be with other children. I took him out of school two months later.
     A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a county school teacher. She was asking about our son and said he was “smart as a tack.” When I said that we home schooled, she told me I didn’t want to let go and could do more damage than good. I was speechless. I felt all alone.
     I began to pray from the depth of my heart that the Lord would guide me. That’s when I went to the library and found The Teaching Home magazine. I picked one up, thumbed through it, and then checked out a couple.
     I know the Lord led me to find The Teaching Home. I had made up my mind to put our son back into public school, but now I’ve made up my mind to home school thanks to the Lord, your magazine, and the readers with their stories and helpful hints. I’ve already used one idea and it was great!

Mitzi Y., Kentucky

Missionaries Gain Confidence, Then Approval

      We are a missionary family and have been living in southern Chile for the past seven years. We’ve been home schooling for the past four years, since our oldest of four children began kindergarten.
     Our home-school decision has not always been understood by our friends here in Chile or our family in the States.
     About a year ago one of our closest and dearest Christian friends vented his misgivings and negative personal feelings concerning our family home schooling in his country. It was a devastating blow to me, because I value this friend’s opinion.
     We did not defend ourselves, but privately poured out our feelings to the Lord. The following day our friend called and asked forgiveness for his verbal attack. However, my security was shaken, and my husband and I once again put our home-school decision in the Lord’s hands.
     A few days later I was home, intently thinking about home schooling. I told the Lord I needed His encouragement. In walked my husband with the mail, a big smile, and The Teaching Home. I cried with thanksgiving as I read and pondered the articles and testimonies. It was all I needed to reconfirm the Lord’s leading to home school our children.
     A year has passed and our friend recently said that he wishes their family could home school. Perhaps it would solve his daughter’s frustrations with peer pressure and a “learning disability.” He also hates the thought of corrupting his little 3-year-old’s mind as he enters preschool! He now expresses his admiration for our home-school success.
     Home schooling is not yet available to the Chileans. However, we are encouraging parents to be involved as much as possible in the training and educating of their children.
     As Americans we are grateful for this home-school option. As a mom living in a foreign country, I am thankful for the excellence, biblical basis, and creativity of The Teaching Home magazine.

Nancy H., Chile

Encouragement Is Only as Far as the Next Room

      We have five children, ages 2, 3, 5, 9, and 12 and are in our seventh year of home schooling.
     Although the first four years were hard, I’ve never regretted it, and I’ve never doubted what God wants us to do.
     Sometimes I do get discouraged. For a long time I thought I needed another home schooler who shared the same convictions and loved teaching her children as much as I do.
     One night lying in bed, I asked God to encourage me in my home school the next day. I know we shouldn’t put God on a time limit, but He knew my heart and the valuable lesson I would learn.
     The very next morning at 6:45 a.m., our 9-year-old came into the schoolroom, handed me a piece of paper, and said, “I stayed up late last night so that I could finish this for you.” She had drawn a very big pencil on a piece of drawing paper and colored it. Then she wrote “I Love My Teacher” on it.
     I immediately began to cry. Our daughter had no idea that God had used her to show me that I don’t need another home schooler. If I’ll just ask, God can encourage me through my own family.
     That night as I lay praying, God had our little girl already answering my prayer. It definitely increased my faith.

Sandra B., Georgia

Time To Slow Down and Be Together

      Sometimes even home-school families get too busy and too caught up in the world. Our family was guilty of this.
     My husband, Tim, was constantly running from job to job as a contractor, struggling to keep up with the mortgage payments, and he was out several nights a week at business or church meetings.
     We also ran the local home-school support group, and that was taking a lot of my time. Between typing and printing newsletters and planning and running meetings, it was getting to be too much.
     Even though I was teaching the children at home, we were always rushing off to something. Monday to gymnastics, Tuesday to soccer, Wednesday to choir rehearsal, Thursday to soccer again, and Friday to something else!
     One thing I was noticing was that we rarely had a relaxing dinner together as a family any more. If the girls were not at an activity, they were visiting one of their friends. The quality family time I longed for was being overshadowed by all these other distractions.
     My husband and I were getting tired of living that way. We wanted something different for our family, but we weren’t sure how to make the change.
     After much discussion and prayer as a family, we made the decision to sell our home and move north, a move that would take us four and a half hours away from the Massachusetts neighborhood we’d lived in for 10 years. For me it would be a very big step. I had never lived that far away from my parents.
     After a lot of packing and some tearful goodbyes, we headed for the northern White Mountains of New Hampshire. A friend of ours had bought a home up there as an investment and offered to rent it to us at a very reasonable price. The house was on a dead-end road, tucked into the mountains.
     I wasn’t sure how our four girls, ages 4, 7, 10, and 14, would make the transition from the busy life they knew to living so far out from everything. Even the mailbox was now one mile from our house! The nearest Wal-Mart and large grocery store was 30 minutes away. The nearest house wasn’t even in view!
     The first morning here, I knelt by my bed to pray. When I looked up, I saw the most beautiful mountain view perfectly framed in the window. I felt both relieved and excited about the move and the chance to start over and see what just being together as a family was going to be like.
     After being here for only six months, we see changes in the girls already. They go outside together and play just with each other now. They build forts out of logs, go on hikes, build snowmen, ice skate, ski, snowboard, and sled together.
     We haven’t signed the girls up for any activities after our school day, but we have lots of time for doing things as a family. For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say we are home almost all the time. And if we’re not home, at least we’re all together.
     I truly feel that this is God’s desire for the family. If we are constantly on the run, how can we really enjoy each other and meet each other’s needs? We are now more content than we’ve ever been. We eat together, play together, read the Bible together, learn together, stack wood together, and have time to talk with each other and listen to each other.
     The girls have missed their friends at times, but they are quite content with each other. We have met another family that home schools, and we get together as families on occasion.
     We would like to challenge other parents to examine their lives. We may be doing a lot of “good” things, but are we doing so much that we are missing out on the really important moments we should be sharing together as families?
     We need to prayerfully consider our time and how God would have us use it. How are we any different from the world if we are too busy for what God really has for us.
     This move has taught us so much. We are so thankful that God has given us this opportunity to slow down and make the most of each moment we have together.
     “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 11:19).

Gail B., New Hampshire

Focus Refined During Five Years of Learning and Teaching

      Congratulations on the 20th year of your magazine! As a thank you for the free subscription, I feel I should take the time to tell you what an encouragement your magazine has been to me.
     When I first started to home school more than five years ago, my friend gave me a bunch of your back issues to look over. I devoured each and every word, and quickly subscribed to your magazine. I honestly learned more from your magazines than from any other source.
     I can remember the teachers at the Christian school where our children had been going were very negative to the idea of my home teaching. As a new home schooler, the Lord and The Teaching Home helped give me the confidence that I could teach our children at home.
     We moved away from my home-school friends that summer, and I made new friends in the home-school community who continue to support our efforts.
     These five years have flown by. I started teaching four of our children, and now I’m teaching all six of our children, ranging from high school to pre-school. Home schooling started out to be about academics, but has turned out to be academics plus character, strong family relationships, and loving the Lord with all our hearts, minds, and souls.
     We are considering home schooling through college and would love to hear about others who have done that. It is not an easy road, but anything worthwhile does take time and effort. What is more satisfying than a homegrown child turning into a responsible godly adult?
     May the Lord continue to bless your ministry to home schoolers by your efforts in producing The Teaching Home.

Luella B., Maryland

A Priceless Experience

      Five years ago, because of the curriculum I ordered, reading aloud as a family became part of our school day. I have to admit, I dreaded it at first. I wanted to hurry up and get it out of the way, so we could concentrate on the important stuff.
     Well, as it turns out, reading to our children has been the most enjoyable part of our home-school experience. We have laughed, cried, and become angry at injustice. We have traveled back in time and met interesting people.
     Our knowledge, vocabulary, and listening skills have been enriched. Our faith in God has deepened. Memories of chuckles, tears, and cuddling on the sofa or in front of a crackling fire are priceless. I can’t recommend enough the experience of reading aloud together.

Pam J., Nevada

Home School Is an Improvement Over School Involvement

      “You know, there are other ways to do it,” a relative told me at a family gathering last year. He was referring to me staying at home and home schooling our daughters. Our family had been going through a very tough financial time during my husband’s job change.
     My relative’s comment was a loaded one, including the unspoken question of why I was not pitching in and working outside the home to supplement our income. My mental list of answers grows longer just being around our girls as much as I am.
     After careful consideration, we took our oldest daughter out of 3rd grade just before winter break. She needed extra assistance, but due to the reallocation of funds, she had been denied a learning program that had been promised the year before.
     My parents were thrilled that I had been so involved at the school, the same one I attended as a child. But they were supportive when I explained my decision to home school. My mother’s health was not good, and just a few days before her passing, she whispered, “Have you got all of your schoolbooks . . . birds and art?” (She was an artist and nature-lover, and knew that Emily liked birds.)
     Personal learning needs and school budget aside, I had been reading about outcome-based education, and could not go along with its “goals,” which seemed far from a good academic foundation. It bothered my husband and me that God was left out of the classroom.
     Years ago at the same school, I remember leading my 4th-grade class in saying grace before lunch. A couple of years later, my illustration of Mary and Joseph was chosen for our school newspaper.
     I was already an at-home mom, so after ordering some books, Emily and I began school at the dining table. I receive professional advice and testing services from a learning service and supervision by a certified teacher as well.
     When Emily’s younger sister was in public kindergarten all day, usually three days a week, Emily and I were able to volunteer to help with reading in her classroom. But by the time the school day was over, little sister Elizabeth would come home cranky and, after a snack, would fall asleep until dinner time.
     On her off-school days, Elizabeth enjoyed “school” with us, using a workbook or some other activity. I have to say that I felt like I had our little girl back near the end of each week.
     Now that Elizabeth is home schooled, too, school time is over after just three or four hours, and the afternoon is free for a picnic and nature walk, extra reading, etc.
     Over the last few years, I have seen the development of character in the girls. They have social interaction at church, Girl Scouts, our home-school support group, and friends. Social times are age-integrated, not segregated, as in school with peers. And I can say that there is little sibling fighting that takes place.
     We have never lived lavishly, being a one-income family. The girls aren’t really aware of high-priced name brands and fads. They enjoy hand-me-down “new” dresses. And the girls love garage sales and thrift stores as much as I do.
     Home schooling does have its frustrations like any job. I haven’t really found a teacher’s break room that is off-limits. Sometimes all the questions drive me crazy. Teaching two subjects, often at once, gets trying.
     Fortunately, my husband and I carve out date time, and he understands when I walk out the door and strongly proclaim that I don’t want anyone to accompany me to the store or wherever. And coffee with other moms is a plain necessity.
     Home schooling is a sacrifice in many ways, but it is the way we have chosen.

Kelli A., Oregon

Family Closeness Grows Through Crises

     We are in our second year of home schooling. Looking back, it is hard to believe we made it through the first year.
     I began praying about home schooling when our oldest son was 3 years old. I borrowed books from the only two ladies I knew who home schooled. I read all I could get my hands on, even the curriculum catalogs.
     After praying for about a year, I approached my husband and told him that I felt God calling us to be a home-school family. My husband, knowing we could not afford private school, was open to teaching our children at home.
     I spent another year researching curriculum catalogs and writing goals for our son’s first year of formal education.
     The next fall we were ready for kindergarten. Little did I know that our first year of school would be full of obstacles.
     We were expecting our second child and I was doing quite well until just after the holidays. I was suddenly put on bed rest, my husband was laid off, we sold our house, and we moved one week after I had a C-section. A few months later we lost two special relatives, one in a car accident and the other by an illness.
     By the beginning of summer, things were actually making a turn for the better. My husband was starting a new job, we had moved into a new house, and our son had learned to read!
     Our school schedule that first year had been anything but normal. Some weeks we had four days of reading and writing and some weeks we had one or two days. But I had achieved my goal to teach our son to read. Through constant prayer and just doing as much as we could manage each week, we made it.
     Throughout that difficult year, I never once felt like I had misread God’s calling. In fact, just the opposite. I knew that had our son been in public school, we would have had different obstacles to overcome. Instead, we forged together as a family and came out knowing how to go through crises together.
     Home schooling has been a great blessing to us. When God calls you to something and you are obedient, the blessings are indescribable. That is why I sometimes find it difficult to express my feelings to people when they ask how it’s going. The joy and closeness we have discovered as a home-school family is something that you have to experience to understand.
     I am so thankful to God that we have a choice. And I am so thankful that His choice for our family is to learn at home.

Debbie S., Texas

Putting God First Resolves Attitude Problems

     I thank God for The Teaching Home. Many times God has used home schoolers whom I will never meet to encourage me through the letters and articles.
     We just finished our fourth year of home schooling. We have three children: Paul, 9, Heather, 6, and Hans, 4. We decided to home school when Paul was still a toddler, because we wanted God to be central to our children’s education.
     The first two years I made up my own curriculum, and Paul did very well; however, I felt that he needed a more structured curriculum (“just like school”) so we purchased our 2nd- and 3rd-grade curriculum from major Christian publishers.
     These were excellent textbooks and I actually learned things that were never taught in the public school I attended. We were certain that because we were using Christian curriculum, God was still the focus of our home.
     In February, Paul was diagnosed with diabetes. This was a very trying time in our home. He did not adjust well when we came home from the hospital. He was angry with me because I was his primary caregiver and the one who gave him four shots every day. We continued to “do school,” but most of the time my husband would come home to me crying tears of frustration.
     One day God showed me that my focus had shifted from Him to academics. I was more concerned with our curriculum than the turmoil our son was enduring. I realized that I had been adding unneeded stress to Paul. I saw I needed to meet our children’s needs in a new way.
     All academics were put on hold for more than two months. During this time, we read a lot and addressed some character issues. These were areas that I needed to address in my own life as well.
     I was able to show my own vulnerability and the need to continue growing in the Lord with my children. Most of all, we spent time enjoying each other’s company. Our children helped me with simple sewing projects and learned to prepare simple recipes.
     I must confess that I was quite nervous about our regular schoolwork. Paul was required to take a standardized test and the scores needed to be submitted to the local school district. This was the first year he has had to do that.
     We began a scaled-back academic schedule less than a month before Paul’s test. When test time came, we prayed he would do his best and that God would be glorified. I was so blessed when we received the results. He had scored in the 75-99 percentile in every area!
     I am not recommending an unstructured life. I am recommending that you put God first in all areas of your life. Matthew 6:33 tells us, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” God has truly proved His Word over and over again in our home.

Eric & Sheila S., Hawaii

Grandma’s Presence Blesses Family

      I read the letter from Laurisa R. in California, and I could understand so well. My mother has lived with us for 18 years and our oldest child is 13, so our children have never lived without grandmother in our home. We have four children, and I see the value of having the three generations together.
     Since my mother is handicapped and somewhat mentally challenged, our children have learned the value of honoring parents no matter what they face. Many times we have had to skip book learning to go to doctors or work with Grandma. I have seen our children comfort their grandmother when she is troubled and I have seen her do the same for them.
     When our children are at a loss of what to do, I find them getting a game of checkers or a puzzle they can do with their grandmother. This interaction is a gift that is invaluable. Many friends show concern that we have to struggle at times to get through school, but they too see the fruits of our labor.
     I also share with my mother that she is blessing my husband and me by allowing us to care for her in that she is setting the example for our children to care for us. Many times I find the children arguing over who will care for us in their own home when we get old and need care. It warms my heart to know that they too are taking to heart the honoring of us, their parents.
     Our children also uplift my mother by telling her how blessed she is by God that she wears a crown—in Proverbs it talks constantly about gray hair being a crown. Their father is getting his crown too, but, contrary to the world, they see that as God’s blessing and wisdom.
     I so much want to thank you for your magazine. What an encouragement to the spirit and how it keeps me going at times when I feel down.
     Laurisa’s letter made me glad to have my mother, but sorry we don’t have any other grandparents alive. But that will never stop us. We have adopted many neighborhood grandparents. Our children definitely appreciate the older generation.

Elaine L., Georgia

Missionary Children Learn in Context of Life

     I was “drafted” into home schooling in 1989 when my husband and I took our family into Eastern Europe on a mission assignment. We had always wanted to serve the Lord as a family. Here was a wonderful opportunity. At that time we had a 5th grader, a 2nd grader, a preschooler, and a toddler.
     We discussed our options. We had a wonderful mentor in seminary who advised missionary parents to keep their children with them whenever possible, so we had already decided boarding school would not be a consideration.
     We also could not envision putting our children in a communist school system where God was denied. That was the very reason this country needed missionaries. The United States Embassy school was too far and too costly. So home school was our only option. I searched out home-school information, found one family in a supporting church, and begged advice.
     The family was warm, their children were delightful, and they eagerly shared all the wonders of home schooling. Their entire home was filled with projects, books, tapes, and videos on every subject imaginable.
     We marveled at the papier mache villages, the Lego reproduction of Sherwood Forest, the handcrafted Indian artifacts, the animals they were breeding, the instruments they were playing, the languages they were studying, and the money they were making with the bread-baking business! They showed us countless possibilities for curriculum. We were overwhelmed!
     In the end we chose our curriculum by weight. We were allowed only 80 lbs. per person in baggage, so that was a primary consideration. We arrived in our new country in October and took a week to settle into our new surroundings.
     Then I began to panic. Here it was, already October, and our children hadn’t even started school! I had none of the resources of that wonderful home-school family back in the States. I didn’t even know where to buy pencils!
     I was terrified. What if our children stayed back? It would be my fault. They would blame Mom and Dad forever for taking them to a foreign country where they couldn’t go to “real” school. They would never learn to read, write, or do arithmetic. I couldn’t let that happen!
     So began what we now refer to as “Home School by Hitler.” You will sit at the table! You will sit up straight! You will fill in every blank on every page! You will do every math problem! You may not go out until your work is entirely finished! You can do this; it’s only 17 more pages!
     It wasn’t long before our 5th grader was begging to go to the communist school. They had recess. Our 2nd grader gently asked if we would ever be able to do any of the fun stuff she used to do in her old school, or like that home-school family we visited.
     I cried. I certainly wasn’t having all the fun they had described. We barely made it through all the pages of material each day. The children didn’t seem to want to work or learn any of this stuff. We fell into bed each night exhausted and crabby. This certainly wasn’t bringing glory to God either.
     I decided to write the home-school mom in the States. It took another agonizing month to receive her gentle reply.
     “I’m not an expert, but I think your children are learning more than you realize. You described your typical day, and it is full of educational opportunities. You are in a new country, hearing a new language, adjusting to a new culture.
     “Your children are learning to read the street signs, make playmates in a foreign language, and count money that doesn’t look at all like dimes and quarters pictured in their curriculum. Perhaps you could lower your expectations and not cover everything in the material.”
     You never saw a happier bunch of people after that. Mom and Dad started to be fun again. We read the Chronicles of Narnia and the Little House series that year. When we ran out of English books, we bought foreign books. When we couldn’t understand all the words, we made up our own stories about the pictures.
     We built all kinds of things for our home and things just for play. We taught baseball to the neighborhood children and had to learn all the words in a foreign language. We learned all sorts of new games from them, including amazingly complicated forms of jump rope. The children learned more quickly than we did!
     We were having a great time until the mission sent us a letter requiring our children to travel to Vienna for standardized testing. They wanted to help ensure that our educational needs were being met. The children could be tested in an accredited mission school and, if necessary, new arrangements for their education could be made.
     Talk about major panic! We traveled the long trip to Vienna in a cold sweat. Our 2nd grader was oblivious to test anxiety, but our 5th grader knew the score. “Great,” he pouted, “I’m not going to know anything the other children know.”
     Our home-school road has been unique as the Lord has led our family on an adventure through four countries, but those first test results taught some wonderful lessons. The scores came back just fine. Our children tested well in their grade levels, with most areas being above average.
     The real lessons that year were for the parents. We learned that children are like sponges. They absorb everything around them. If we take care to surround them with good things, they will learn.
     We also learned that it is not the curriculum that teaches, it is the teacher. The teacher who loves his students can help them learn anything. Body Text Portion.

Melody M., Massachusettsr

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