Thankfulness, or gratitude, belongs to a group of the following related character qualities:

"Choosing to be satisfied and at peace with what God has provided, without complaining."

 •   Also: cheerfulness, hope, peace.

 •   See I Tim. 6:5, 6, 8; Phil. 4:11; Heb. 13:5.

"Recognizing, appreciating, and acknowledging favors or benefits."

 •   Also: appreciation, gratefulness, thankfulness.

 •   See Eph. 5:19-20; Col. 2:6-7; I Tim. 4:4-5; I Thess. 5:18.

"Delighting in the service and presence of God regardless of circumstances."

 •   Also: zeal, enthusiasm, heartiness, eagerness.

 •   See Ps. 100:2; Rom. 12:11; Prov. 15:13; Ps. 35:9.

Thankfulness needs to be taught.  It does not come naturally to fallen human beings.

Start by explaining the following to your children.  This provides direction and motivation for your study of this topic.

 •   What gratitude or thankfulness is and how and why it is a part of the character quality of Joy.

 •   Why it pleases and honors God.

"Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name" Hebrews 13:15.

 •   How it will make them, and those around them, joyful.

You might want to do this during your regular daily Bible and devotional time.  Depending on the time you want to take and the age of your children, address all four qualities of joy (see above) at once, or just one or two each day.

 •   Read and discuss the material presented above on Joy.

 •   Look up and read the scriptures suggested for each characteristic.  Using a concordance, look up other references.

 •   God commands us to be thankful.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful" Colossians 3:15.

 •   Consider the results of unthankfulness in Romans 1:21:

"For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened."

Memorize, review, and meditate on specific verses or passages related to thankfulness.  See those given above or use those selected from your own study.

Throughout the day there are a multitude of opportunities for your children to hear you say aloud, "Thank you, Lord, for . . ." or for you to talk about something for which you are thankful.

It is easy to take for granted the many gifts that God has given to us unless we stop and think about them.

One way to think about your own blessings is to consider those who have less, as articulated in the proverb "I complained because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

In America today we can find many people that have more than we do.  This tends to make us and our children discontent.  (In fact, the secular media's featuring of the rich and famous, combined with commercials that are intended to make you crave more, is a good reason to turn off your TV for good.)

On the other hand, your family can find those around you that have less than you do in terms of physical, family, and spiritual blessings.  Looking farther from home to the poor of Africa can show us the relative luxuries even the poorest of us possess (e.g., water!).

Besides providing a reminder to be thankful, let these examples prompt a practical compassion in your family as you find ways to share your blessings.

 •   The best blessing you can share is the good news of God's love and forgiveness.

 •   Especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas times, rescue missions appreciate gifts that enable them to provide meals and/or beds for the homeless.

 •   Your family might consider contributing to HSLDA's Home School Foundation, which provides assistance to home-school families and widows in need, or to Gospel for Asia, which ministers materially and spiritually to the Dalits ("Untouchables").

 •   Look for someone in your church that doesn't have family nearby and invite them to share your Thanksgiving feast or other meals with you.

The example of looking at a glass of water as being either half empty or half full illustrates the two ways that we can view our lives.  Teach your children:

 •   Instead of dwelling on your problems, look at your blessings and thank the Lord for them.

 •   Instead of looking at how bad a situation is, look at how much worse it could have been and thank the Lord it wasn't.

The most powerful influence on your child's character is example – for better or worse.  You can help your child by providing good examples of thankfulness and avoiding or pointing out examples of unthankfulness.

The example you set is primary.  As your children observe you being thankful throughout the ups and downs of your life, they will be more likely to become thankful themselves.

"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals'" (I Cor. 15:33).

 •   Television

Children who watch a lot of commercials on TV, especially at this season of the year, will probably develop intense desires for things they do not have, rather than being thankful for what they do have.

 •   Friends

Like-minded friends who show a spirit of thankfulness can be a positive influence on your children.

God has given us many examples in Scripture of right behavior for our edification and of wrong behavior for our warning.

 •   David is the most prominent example; he wrote hundreds of verses in the Psalms that show forth his thankful heart.

 •   Job, in the midst of his loss and misery, and Paul and Silas in prison, are prime examples of praise and thankfulness amid suffering.

"But about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them" (Acts 16:25).

Look for and comment on examples of contentment, gratitude, and joyfulness (or their opposites) in your children's and your family's reading.

 •   Family Read-Aloud Time

Spend an hour at a time reading uplifting literature aloud as a family on a regular basis.  (See A Family Program for Reading Aloud from Foundation for American Christian Education and Gems of Christian Literature on Sale at Keepers of the Faith.)

 •   Include Evaluation

Follow your reading with a discussion of the character qualities displayed or other spiritual principles.

Help your children establish and maintain the habit of thankfulness.

If your children assume that they "deserve" certain things, they will not be thankful for them.

 •   Help your children understand our dependency upon God for everything we are and have.

"For in Him we live and move and exist" (Acts 17:28).

 •   Teach your children what God says about being content with only food and covering.

"But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.  If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content" (I Timothy 6:6-8).

 •   Explain that anything God or others do for us, or give us, is an occasion for our thankfulness.

Include thankfulness in the basic rules of courtesy that you set for your family.

 •   Teaching your young child to say "Please" and "Thank You" whenever he asks for, or is given, anything is a practical way to teach him to be thankful and to show it.

 •   Start by saying it for him at appropriate times, even before he can talk.

 •   A gentle reminder and later (or for older children) a pause while waiting for them to say "please" or "thank you," if consistent, will soon establish the habit.

 •   You might review this rule with your older children to good advantage as well.

 •   Make sure your children thank others outside your home when they are given something, are wished something (e.g., "Happy Birthday" or "Have a good day"), or have a service performed such as opening a door or being served a meal.

 •   Discuss good examples of thankfulness, such as how good it makes you feel to receive a prompt and handwritten Thank You card from a friend.

 •   Have your child keep a Thankful Diary in which he writes all the things he is thankful for and checks off those for which he has expressed thanks.

 •   Hold hands around the table and quote a verse and sing an appropriate hymn or chorus of praise and thanks.

When growing up, our family held hands and sang "Thank You, Lord" before prayer at dinner every day.

There are many people in our lives to whom we owe our gratitude.

Model and teach your children the habit of noticing, appreciating, and thanking family members.  Not only is this right and proper, but it also motivates good behavior and a pleasant atmosphere.

 •   Thank the cook after each meal and the person who does the laundry for clean clothes.

 •   Thank children for doing their chores, for being kind to each other, for going beyond their assigned duties, etc.

 •   Thank Dad each night for working for the family.

Besides spoken thanks, surprise one another with a note in Dad's lunch or under your child's pillows, etc.

These are those who love us and our family, encourage us, stand by us, and help us.  We might be tempted to take our friends for granted, but how it warms the heart to receive a note like:

"Thank you for all your love, support, and friendship over the years.  Your family means so much to our family.  One of God's greatest blessings is having friends like you!"

 •   Remember, too, your Pastor and fellow Church members.

One church that we attended provided space on an attendance card in which to write a note of appreciation to a fellow church member.  Then the notes were placed in the offering plate and mailed to the recipient during the week.

Even though the mailman, garbage collector, and newspaper carrier are paid for their service, they deserve and appreciate thanks.  This is why many people give them a small gift at Christmas.

 •   Include an attractive tract to enrich your gift with God's offer of eternal life.

 •   Remember also statesmen, authors, and teachers.

You may realize that a teacher, pastor, neighbor, or friend you haven't seen for years has contributed something significant and important to your life.  Wouldn't they love to hear that you remember them with thankfulness?